Roto-Rooter - Dave’s Midwestern Ohio Memories

A Series of Guest Blogs by an out-of-state Fish Report reader originally from this area about fond memories of growing up in Midwestern Ohio during the 50’s & 60’s.

Roto-Rooter

Thirty-four years ago, my Dad had what he termed “roto-rooter” surgery for a swollen, and fortunately benign, prostate. According to my nurse sister, Dad was exactly the same age as I am now, so it comes as no surprise that I was recently diagnosed with the same malady after a painful night in the ER and a urologist appointment the next day. Meds were tried unsuccessfully, so the doctor performed a more modern version of roto-rooter surgery called TURP on my prostate that was the size of an orange versus a normal size of a walnut. The plumbing caricature above pretty much describe the procedure. Ouch, indeed! The surgery was on the same day as the seventh game of the World Series, so staying overnight in the hospital was tolerable since I wasn’t going to get much sleep anyway. With the rain delay and extra innings, the game kept my mind diverted from the pain into the early hours of the next morning. Ditto on election night the following week while recovering at home.

Several of my friends have had similar surgeries, so thanks to their insight, I pretty much knew what to expect. Several suggested the whoopy cushion shown below called a Kabooti Comfort Ring, which would’ve come in real handy when attending church the first time after the operation. The sermon that week was about perseverance, which is exactly what I had to do to get through mass. Meanwhile, the wife of one of my best friends included the following quote in their get well card, “If it has tires or testicles, it’s gonna give you trouble”. The 1992 quote is from a State Senator and feminist from Ohio named Linda Furney. Having worked in the auto industry for my entire career, this was a double whammy! On top of that, my wife claimed I was a different person after the operation, but have since returned to “normal" as the recovery progresses. It appears she likes me better when I’m on pain medication and resting half the day! No doubt the medication cut the edge on my fabled German stubbornness, which must be coming back into form as I recover. She was told if I was that way all the time, we’d be in the poor house as I had absolutely no gumption to do anything productive (let alone hold up my end in a discourse).

Fortunately, the worst is now over and I’m on the mend to hopefully a successful recovery and full functionality, if you get my drift. My wife really has been a fantastic caregiver and my nurse sisters have also been very supportive from afar. On the other hand, my younger brother now knows what’s heading his way in about 9 years!

Lost about 20 pounds in the process, and now I have a bunch of lose skin in all the wrong places! Also, this procedure has somehow changed my taste in wine and beer, as I used to prefer reds and dark brews, now nothing by whites and lite beer. And regarding the age-old dilemma of boxers or briefs, now only boxers will do. Ironically, my wife purchased a set of plaid boxers while I was convalescing; one maize and blue and the other scarlet and gray. Guess which one I’ll be wearing Saturday?

President-elect Trump talks about draining the swamp in Washington; given my roto-rooter experience, I think the photo below better depicts what is needed.

And finally, Happy Thanksgiving, Fish Report readers.

Dave